matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
