Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
