Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
