Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
