when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
