I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
