why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize