Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
