I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
