well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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