If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
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Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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