My sheets look like a crime scene.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
there is puke in my bra ... again
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