I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
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