I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
