wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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