and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
