surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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