u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
