In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
