have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
