I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize