Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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