what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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