i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
