I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
