Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Randomize
