It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
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I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
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I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize