it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
