goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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