It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
