My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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