how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
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New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
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I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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