i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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