i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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