Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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