Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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