Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Randomize
