wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize