She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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