Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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