Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
