If i come over, it means nothing
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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