Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
