Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
