yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize