he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
