I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
