How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
