He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
