i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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