:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
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YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...