remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?