when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
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Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
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I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.