I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.