I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
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