I wanna bring you to show and tell
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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