I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
