So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
