R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
