I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
