just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
