What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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