i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
