it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize