Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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