I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sarcasm needs its own font
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
