remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
