Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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