spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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