I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Let's get the cat blown out
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
