Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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