Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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