The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
