Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Randomize
